Dreams...

I have mixed feelings about dreams.  I fear them, I dive into them, I shout out others dreams. 

I have thought at times that dreaming was free.  That anyone can dream.  But I'm learning that dreaming is not free. That not everyone is free to dream.  That trauma, violence, suffering can squeeze dreams from a person.   And even the relentless little pieces of life can snuff out dreams. 

Dreams are frightening.  To speak dreams into the world and see others roll their eyes...or perhaps have a dream started and be crushed along the way....or the fear that a pursuit of a dream may crush you in the process....

 Mixed with the fear is a deep hunger I carry for my dreams.  A longing deep in my bones for them to find life.   

Yet, I wrestle to know how to dream in the midst of the world.  How to make it more than a manufacturing of surface feelings and a selling of hype.  

Dreams, even in their surreal drifting through our sleeping minds, can stick with us.  I have nightmares that have stayed with me.  Powerful moments that make me shake inside.  So why can't I answer that with powerful beautiful dreams?  And where do we find dreams deeper than mere fluff?  

So I'm dreaming.  Sending out whispers of what I long for.  What I hunger for.  I may never see these come to life.  And some I still can't speak into the world. Holding these dreams together are themes I want to breathe through my life - themes of healing, beauty, and passion.  For I am finding that regardless of the outcome of my dreams that if they are filled with strong themes they can still have purpose in the process.  

In the heartaches and longings.  In the failures and disappointments.  In the wonder of life. I whisper my dreams to the wind.  Hoping they are carried to good ground and take deep root.  In the stillness I am reminded that there are costs to dreams.  I watch my dreams leave with hope that they will find a place to land. And that perhaps one of those small whisperings into the wind will find its way into the broken soil, take root, and become a tree of healing.  A story of beauty and passion in the midst of the heaviness of life.  And I steal courage from those around me, those who have whispered their dreams into the world.  Whose dreams have taken root in my own life - spreading strength and helping me open up my heart to the world.  

"And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations." Revelations