There is a strangeness about life where beauty and mess can rub so close to one other. Where I can watch an Artists Festival that Lara and I put together actually happen. Two days where we celebrate the beauty of so many people coming alongside us to help us work to create art. And then you hit a curb with your car and blow a tire and you are calling AAA and you are looking at a mess.
I know I often compare my life to others highlights. Moments that seem perfect and fit together. But we all have mess.
Maybe its the kind of art I like. Maybe its my artistic temperament, but the mess often feels closer than I'd like. What I love about acting is it helps us empathize - to see life through someone else's story. But the danger of empathy, and why we avoid it perhaps, is that it opens us up to mess - our own and others. But there is something so freeing about hearing others stories. Because it reminds me that our lives are not filled just with the highlight picture perfect moments. But that life is a lot more complicated and messy than fits in a highlight reel.
My next project is working on a script for Amiche, an adaptation of Shahrazad. It's a messy story filled with messy people. People who make really bad choices. It's filled with betrayal, violence, bitterness, and anger. Yet, it is also a tale of healing. The courage of one woman to tell story after story, night after night. She glimpsed the possibility of good and healing in the midst of a terrible mess. She understood the power of empathy, of stories to seep into our hearts and break down anger and bitterness.
Mess can make us bitter. In my art and life I fight so hard against this. Somedays are better than others. Yet I know I want to tell stories that fight against the bitter, that little by little, like the sands of time, wear away the bitterness to reveal the beauty.
So I'm writing and rehearsing in the midst of a messy life. Searching for beauty.