Change and time are strange.
I'm working from home today - which means I am an unshowered mess - working and drinking lots of coffee.
The last few months have been full. I'm still processing. Still reflecting. And thinking about whats next.
I have many thoughts. Nothing coherent - mostly a muddle.
But for the moment these are some threads of reflections in the midst of looking forward and backward in time.
1. Visiting Past Homes - Louisville, KY/Grad School Home for 3 years - I just spent two days last week with a friend in Louisville and sometimes I forget that we are allowed to change. That we aren't the same people we were and all the small choices we make lead us forward. It is a strange experience traveling over ground that pushed me and changed me. It was a mix of emotions. But a reminder that I'm still growing and changing - and that's ok and good.
2. The Heart of Shahrazad - Pittsburgh, PA - Emily Havranek just sent photos from the August performances. And I'm realizing how much I'm still processing a project that was a year and a half of my life.
3. STORY - Nashville, TN (Oct 1-2)- This was my second year at this conference. And it was a privilege to play a small part. It was such a gift to be in the midst of so many generous creators. People who encourage and lift up others. And to watch Ben Arment lead in this way has been a gift especially when my heart can easily become jaded and hard. I encourage you to follow Ben and his work for when I think about encouragers and supports of creatives Ben is an amazing example of this. It was an encouragement to be in the presence of so many creatives - working hard to bring good into the world.
As much as I dislike the cold -and the anticipation of winter - there is something about fall in Western, PA. A brief time - where it's probably one of the most beautiful places you could visit. Trees bursting with color, a reminder that life is full of change - of death and life and beauty and mess.
I've been all sorts of crazy this summer working on projects. Some days I forget that work/creating is hard. It doesn't mean we don't do it. Or that our work is bad. It's just part of the process. There are obstacles - expected and unexpected. And it's ok if its hard and I don't know what I'm doing all the time.
Fall is about transition. The mix of beauty and loss. As I look back in time I find this mix as well. Great loss and great beauty. The future is unknown. There are many transitions ahead. Unexpected trails and pathways.
I don't have it all sorted out. And that's scary. But the people who have and are walking alongside me remind me that beauty is found in the hard and the unknown. And for the moment sitting here with my coffee and feeling thankful is good. Enough. Until the next bought of crazy. But for these pockets of stillness and peace I am thankful.