This piece was created for New Community Church in Buckhannon, WV, to coincide with a service looking at Jeremiah 29.
This piece dealt specifically with what it means when we feel exiled from our faith. The questions of what it means if what we believe about faith and life feel so far from our experiences.
In Exile (based on Jeremiah 29) written and performed by Sarah Carleton on October 21st, 2012 at New Community Church for their launch service in Buckannan, WV.
If you are even there. Because lately it feels like you dumped me here and forgot about me. You tell us to come as we are, well I’m here and I’m a mess. I'm starting to feel like those dry bones in Ezekiel. And I’ve been trying. Trying to listen to you and follow you.
But I go to church and I don't fit in. Not even a little. And it makes me wonder do I even believe in you, because you’re supposed to be at church.
My family, they are hurting. And it rips me apart. You know how many friends have left me, too busy for all the pain in my life. I’m just trying to do what you want me to do. What I thought you were telling me to do and calling me to. But, you just left me here.
Everything I touch seems to fall apart and I’m so tired of feeling like that prudish religious outsider at work. And that crazy misfit at church, that makes everyone a little nervous.
And no matter how hard I fight it, I’m starting to think that people are right. That I’m either following some made up messed up religion. Or that I just don’t have enough faith. Because I don't feeling peaceful or joyful or hopeful or any of those things that are supposed to be a part of this Christian life.
Some days I get a glimpse of what it is supposed to be. And it's so beautiful. Then it slips away and I’m left feeling even more alone. I'm just done God. I can't do this anymore.
So God, if you are here. I need help. I need help believing that you have good plans for my life. Because I’m struggling to trust you. Trust that you actually want good for me, because I’m overwhelmed with pain and loneliness and suffering.
So if you are here. And I’m some how supposed to be your living breathing story here, right here. Please breathe your life into me. Help me to believe that you have plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me a hope and future.
© 2012 Sarah Carleton